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Visvamitra 2015Visvamitra[1] is the name given to me by Guru Dev[2] when he accepted responsibility for my evolution and existence in September 1994. It is common for the Guru to give the new disciple a name as an ideal to become. Since Guru Dev desires that I become Visvamitra, which means "friend to everyone", I wholeheartedly embrace the adventure.

One day, some years ago, I asked Guru Dev what I should do to better cooperate with him, and what if anything could I do to serve him? He said that I should tell the story of how I came to know him and became his disciple, so I have written the following story.

There is a story about how Maharishi came to know his Guru Dev that I enjoy. All of his life Maharishi had made it a practice to pay visits to saints and holy men whenever he could, because he deeply desired to find his Guru. One day he went to visit Swami Brahmanda Saraswati who was the Sankaracharya of Jyotir Math. He arrived late at night and as he was approaching the home of Guru Dev a passing automobile's headlights illuminated the front of the house and for a moment he saw him sitting on the porch. At that moment he knew his search was over and there was his Guru Dev. He immediately surrendered his life to him.

Guru Dev - Small GoldenGuru Dev asked him about his life and what he was presently engaged in. Maharishi told him about his current occupation as a university student and Guru Dev sent him back to finish his education. When he returned to Guru Dev after graduation from university, he began to look for ways to be of service to him. Out of love and devotion and wanting to be of service to one who spoke very infrequently, and who had spent 50 years in silence in the forest, Maharishi resolved to watch and study Guru Dev and come to know his mind.

Maharishi felt that he must anticipate what Guru Dev wanted and do it without being asked. He knew it must be possible to know the mind of Guru Dev if Guru Dev would allow it, so he began to worship him every day with a puja that he made up from the Guru Gita. It took Maharishi about three years of daily puja to Guru Dev before the fruit of his devotion came. After puja one-day Guru Dev appeared to him in consciousness and said that from this point, “you may know my mind”.

Maharishi used to do things that he knew, in consciousness, that Guru Dev wanted to be done, then he would tell Guru Dev (physically) of what he had done and Guru Dev would say “yes that is correct - I wanted you to do that”. Like this, Maharishi's experience with Guru Dev in his heart was validated.

Maharishi 1979In time Guru Dev dropped the body and Maharishi keenly felt the loss. It is one thing to know that the Guru is in the heart and that he could know his mind on anything at any time when the Guru is also physically alive and can validate the experience, but quite another to trust this experience when the Guru is no longer physically around. Maharishi grew in intimacy with Guru Dev and soon came to understand in consciousness that Guru Dev wanted him to embark on a project to create Heaven on Earth. It was at that point that Maharishi left the ashram to go into the world and teach what was to be known as Transcendental Meditation.

I learned the TM technique on March 17, 1979 and saw Maharishi for the first time in person in December 1979 during a course at Maharishi International University in Fairfield, Iowa. This was an advanced Sidhis course and no one knew that Maharishi would be coming.

We were meditating one morning in the old field house on campus and I heard some muffled sounds coming from the stage so I opened my eyes to take a look - there was Maharishi walking onto the stage! Quickly everyone crowded around and Maharishi began to ask us about our experiences. Meanwhile, all the women and others in Fairfield had heard that Maharishi was in the field house talking to the men and they all crowded around outside waiting to get in. We spent more than an hour with him at that time talking about experiences - just a few hundreds of us.

That evening in a general assembly someone asked Maharishi when the next Teacher Training course would be held. Maharishi said we have enough teachers now; probably no one else wants to become a teacher. “How many still want to be teachers?” he asked. Without thinking my hand immediately flew up and on January 12, 1981, my course started in Livingston Manor, New York.

I arrived at Livingston Manor in January of 1981 and settled into the blissful routine of the Teacher Training Course. All I wanted was to come to know Maharishi and all he did was tell us that all glory was to his Guru Dev. He seemed to constantly be putting Guru Dev in the light while he took the background. So I naturally switched the focus of my devotion to Guru Dev while my love for Maharishi grew.

PadmasanaDuring the course Guru Dev (Swami Brahmanda Saraswati) became very real to me. One day during meditation as I sat in padmasana my back ached, my knees felt as if on fire, my whole body was shaking and racked with pain. I cried out in consciousness “Guru Dev, please help me!” and immediately he responded. All the pain in my body instantly disappeared and I sat in full lotus effortlessly for the remainder of the meditation - about an hour.

I was amazed by the experience, and for the first time I knew that Maharishi's Guru Dev was real.

Toward the end of the four-month TTC Phase One course, I got the brilliant idea that maybe Maharishi would let us continue on to Phase Three and skip Phase Two. Phase One is where you learn to give an introductory lecture and check meditation, Phase Two is where you work for a year or more in a TM center and prove yourself worthy of Phase Three. Phase Three is where you learn the puja and how to teach TM. Thanks to my boundless arrogance, I wanted to ask Maharishi if this Phase One (because we were so “special”) could skip Phase Two and go straight into Phase Three.

The course leaders seemed horrified at the notion and at first refused to ask. But I rallied some support among the other participants, found a small group that pledged to continue if permitted and the course leaders finally relented and send a message to Maharishi. He responded that we could! The course ended and a few others and I stayed on to start the Phase Three course - another four months. In all I was at Livingston Manor from January 11, 1981 to October 1, 1981 and became a teacher on September 27, 1981 in a very special meeting during which I met Maharishi for the first time on the pranamaya kosha level.

By the end of TTC I had realized that Guru Dev was absolutely alive in consciousness and could be communicated with as well! This was quite a realization for me - being pragmatic by nature. It is one thing to have knowledge about something and another to realize something. For years I had known such things were possible and had read about this type of experience, but now it was my reality.

Consciousness is the only real thing, but we are cultured to believe that the physical is real and consciousness is "imagination". The universe is fundamentally a mental construct in the mind of God, i.e., we exist as virtual beings in the mind of God. The ultimate goal of human life is Moksha and to experience the consciousness of God, which we call “Brahman Consciousness.” When we become conscious on the level of the mind of God, we enjoy Enlightenment, a state of being in which everything that can be known is known and all of our actions are spontaneously in accord with the Will of God.

During the TTC course, Maharishi was conducting a course in India for westerners. At the end of that course he brought up the idea of a "Jyotish-Kalpa" course that would run for a very extended period of time, perhaps years. Of course, I wanted that course.

Domes in Fairfield IowsAfter TTC I returned to my home and taught at the TM center for a few months, but Maharishi had asked everyone to move to Fairfield, Iowa to create coherence for world peace. So I moved there and joined the Creating Coherence Course. We would go to the domes to do our TM-Sidhi program in a group, because Maharishi said that would create coherence in national consciousness and help to bring on world peace.

It was during this time at MIU, in the spring of 1982, that Lord Krishna first appeared to me. It was an ordinary afternoon meditation in the dome that started like hundreds before. I had become accustomed to beginning meditation in padmasana but could not hold the posture for more than 20 minutes without having to release to the siddha asana posture. Only once before had I been able to hold padmasana for the entire program of meditation - that was on TTC after I appealed to Guru Dev for help. So I began meditation in the dome that afternoon in padmasana.

There were several hundred others in the dome that day. After a few minutes of meditation, I noticed that sitting in padmasana was quite effortless, like that time on TTC. In a few minutes it was time for the practice of samyama on the yoga sutras of Patanjali. Something very unusual happened: I performed samyama on the first sutra and fell into a timeless, unbounded expanse of Pure Consciousness and then I witnessed a vibration - actually "saw" a vibration with closed eyes, in full color. This vibration was the response of Pure Consciousness to my samyama on the first sutra!

Now, it only takes a few seconds in physical time to perform samyama on a sutra, but I felt like I had unlimited time to explore the experience of this first sutra and really delve into the mysteries of this visual vibration that was seemingly in front of my face, stretching from left to right with no end on either side. The vibration was composed of eight layers, each one a different color. It was an undulating wave - it was moving, not a stagnant image - and each component moved in sync with the others. Almost like I was partially submerged in the ocean and my eyes were on the surface of the water so that I could see the waves on the surface in front of my eyes.

My awareness was split so that part of me was aware of the dome, me sitting in meditation, in effortless padmasana, that I had just performed samyama on the first sutra and in a few seconds it would be time to perform it again - somehow that part of me was clearly aware of physical time and knew exactly when to repeat samyama on the same sutra and when to advance to the next sutra. This part of me was perhaps 10% of my awareness. The other part, the 90% part, was in a totally different reality. It was a timeless, unbounded space that seemed more real than life. My awareness was totally alive and awake in a way that I had never experienced before. It was an awareness of the Anandamaya Kosha where I am the Totality of this universe.

I was looking at one tiny aspect of this fabulous realm as if my eyes were powerful microscopes, able to discern infinitely fine details of a waveform. I knew I was witnessing the spontaneous response of prakriti to my samyama. I understood how Lord Brahma performing samyama on the 432,000 mantras of the Rig Veda creates the universe. I was doing exactly that in a very small way in the dome that day in Fairfield. These were not thoughts in the usual sense, but instead it was a knowing that was so vast that it would take many books to record a fraction of what was known to me at that time.

As I remember the experience now, I have to cut short the details for the sake of brevity. That 90% of me was just Being and accepted all in a very matter of fact way, no excitement, nothing unusual here. But the 10% of me that was watching the time in my head and aware that I had just performed samyama on the first sutra about 2 seconds ago, was totally amazed! This was more like conventional thinking and the thought "what is going on here!" came into my mind.

Finally, the amazed 10% knew it was time to perform samyama on the sutra again so I did and just before I did that, the experience of the first performance faded away into darkness. I performed samyama a second time that afternoon on the same first sutra and here came the prakriti wave again! Another repeat of the first time, identical in every aspect, the waveform was exactly like before, same colors, same vibration, same timeless Bliss that seemed to go on forever in the 90% part of me while the 10% part was again amazed.

In those days we practiced samyama on less than 20 sutras and so the practice continued for about 20 minutes. Each sutra responded in a completely unique manner, yet in the same way: there was the same unbounded knowing Bliss with an 8-fold prakriti waveform that I could investigate for unlimited time with that 90% part of me and the 10% part would just become more and more amazed at how effortlessly I was sitting in an erect posture, how my timing was impeccable, how I knew exactly which sutra was next and how many times I had performed samyama on previous sutras, and there was a full, glorious memory of every detail that I had witnessed.

So that everyone in the dome could begin the last sutra in unison, that was the so-called “flying sutra,” someone would ring a bell in the silence. It was a very small bell whose ring would probably go unnoticed if it wasn't for the profound silence in the dome before “flying.” The 10% part of me knew it was time for the bell and was not surprised to hear it ring, but was surprised that I was so perfectly accurate, having performed samyama on all of those sutras, the exact number of times each and to arrive at this time, ready for the final sutra at the exact right time!

I began the final, flying sutra and as the 10% of me began to perform samyama on the sutra something even more amazing happened: a unique 8-fold prakriti waveform appeared, as usual (now this thing was just usual and expected) and it was unique but strangely bright, so bright it was difficult for the 90% part of me to see the waveform clearly. Then the entire waveform began to rotate to vertical - nothing like that had happened with the other sutras! Both the 10% and the 90% parts of me watch in amazement as the waveform rotated to vertical, stretching upward and downward to infinity. Maybe 1 second in physical time had passed at that point, then the waveform began to condense in height and soon it was about 5 feet tall, in front of my eyes, and I could see some human-like figure in the waveform. It was a very happy, smiling boy, perhaps 13 years old, dressed like a prince from Vedic times with beautiful, shimmering golden clothes and His face was blue, as were His arms and hands. I knew this was Krishna! This time even the 90% part that was so nonchalantly watching the show during the previous sutras was amazed.

I felt the unconditional love and acceptance coming from Krishna that I had only felt before, coming from Maharishi. When someone looks at you with a pure heart of unconditional love and acceptance, you feel as if there is no difference between the two of you - as if you are looking at yourself in a mirror and you absolutely love and accept yourself completely, no criticism at all. Time stands still in this gaze of unconditional love and acceptance and awareness splits into these same two parts, 10% aware of surroundings and 90% drinking in the Bliss of this momentary encounter that seems unlimited in its scope.

As I gazed at Krishna, I was filled with a knowing of what was going to come and how I would be playing a role. Meanwhile, my physical body and that 10% part of me was lifting up, levitating in the air a few inches above the foam floor, and then gently falling back under the pull of gravity. It was so effortless and blissful! And my physical body could not contain the extraordinary energy and bliss of that moment so I began to make a loud noise to somehow regulate the incredible bliss. It was as if my body was a teakettle, full of steam and if I did not vent some of the steam I would burst! I was aware that my loud noise, a sort of primal scream, was extremely annoying to the hundreds in the dome that day, but I could not stop - I must not stop.

There I was, 10% of me aware of all the ruckus I was causing, how others were looking at me, even starting to gather around to see "what in the world is going on with that guy! " And the 90% part was lost in a timeless vision and Blissful experience Krishna. Flying in those days was about 15 minutes! So this scene just continued and continued until at the end of flying someone rang that small bell again but this time so loudly and fervently that it was impossible not to hear it even over my noise. I could feel everyone giving a collective sigh of relief when I suddenly became quiet again.

For me, as the 90% joined the 10%, I was in a completely different reality than ever before. The Bliss of my encounter with Krishna was reverberating throughout my body in a purely physical way, as if I was electrified with millions of volts of pure energy flowing through my body, yet I was extremely calm and very, very happy. After flying we would lie down and rest for a few minutes and then as I sat up and opened my eyes for the first time in about an hour, the others in the dome surrounded me, asking, “what happened to you?” and I could not speak! I could only look, probably wild-eyed, and probably they thought I had gone crazy. In a few minutes of this “silent treatment” by me, they lost interest and the group disbanded - after all it was time for dinner.

The next few days were magical; the entire world was a different place of beauty, harmony, love, acceptance and unity. Gradually I became accustomed to this new feeling and life resumed its normal, boring sort of routine, but the memory of that meeting with Krishna has never faded and still remains as if it was yesterday. What I have is a memory of the way life really is, what it can be for everyone. There is definitely a wonderful, magical place where Krishna is found. Now I had a central, driving mission; to return to that place and be there forever.

Also during this time, Maharishi presented his concept of a human life that continued for thousands of years on Earth, he said "in the direction of immortality." A new course was just getting started at that time called Purusha - the manifestation of the Jyotish-Kalpa course mentioned earlier. It was for single men who could commit to several years of an in-residence course. This was for me so I retired from my business (I was 35 years old at the time) and joined the Purusha course. I intended for it to be my life from that point on, and it was for the next 12 years.

Soon, Maharishi had us enroll in an MBA program at MIU. Some men left at that point - after all what does a celibate monk want with an MBA? However, I was determined that whatever Maharishi wanted me to do, I would do it so I stayed. Near the end of the MBA I got the idea, from reading his Science of Being, that the next wave of the future would be the science of the mind, psychology, so I asked if I could enroll for a Ph.D. in psychology and Maharishi approved. About a dozen of the Purusha stayed on at MIU to get advanced degrees after the MBA while the rest of the group moved to Livingston Manor.

In a couple of years, in 1987, I graduated with a master's degree in psychology and joined my fellow Purusha course members at Livingston Manor to do my doctoral research in EEG. My project was to create a topographic brain mapping system that could determine the state of consciousness of a person. I wanted to see if the brain map would reveal when a person was in Cosmic Consciousness or better yet Brahman Consciousness.

Over the next couple of years, I did my very long Purusha meditation program and worked on EEG research and became increasingly uncomfortable. I felt that I was not doing enough to get Enlightened. Before long I was waking up early and doing a round of meditation in my room before going down to group program.

Near the end of April, 1989 I suddenly had the overwhelming desire to worship Lord Vishnu. This idea came out of nowhere but immediately consumed me. Within a day I had some audiotapes and a written translation of the 1000 names of Vishnu and began to learn a few names every morning when I woke up early. In a few days I was getting raps on the walls from my neighbors for chanting at 4 am while they were trying to sleep.

At that time, I did not realize the connection between Lord Vishnu and my Atman. My Atman was moving me along toward the goal by working behind the scenes and giving me ideas and inspirations to do certain things. Because I was living in a state of surrender to the higher intelligence in my life, these signals were coming through loud and clear.

I moved the EEG equipment out of my room and set up an altar on which I placed a puja set and a picture of Maharishi and his Guru Dev. I started to do a puja to Guru Dev every morning. To do a daily puja is quite an ordeal because you need fresh flowers and fruit every day to offer. During the spring and summer I could find flowers on the grounds, but in the fall and winter I had to order flowers in bulk from a local nursery to be delivered to the Manor once a week. Getting plenty of fresh fruit was not a problem, if you like apples and oranges. But I wanted to offer something special to Guru Dev so I would buy mangoes in bulk.

For my birthday, my Purusha friends gave me a very large picture of Lord Vishnu (like the one on the right) and by then I had learned the 1000 names well enough to chant them. So my daily program consisted of arising at 3 am, doing a puja to Guru Dev, chanting the 1000 names of Vishnu, meditation, then I would join the group for a several hour morning program of meditation. We would get out of program around 11 am, so I would chant some more, read the Srimad Bhagavatam and then prepare my own lunch in my room from the offerings to Guru Dev in the morning puja. For the next year I ate only what had been blessed by Guru Dev in the morning puja.

During the afternoon I would work on the brain mapping and little progress was made. One day in the late summer of 1990, Maharishi called me to come to Vlodrop, Holland where he was living at the time, and do my research there. When I arrived in Holland I immediately setup a laboratory and started to work 18 hours a day on EEG research. I would start work around 6 am after 20 minutes of meditation and a glance at Lord Vishnu's large picture that I brought with me in my luggage, take a 30-minute lunch break, meditate at my computer for 20 minutes in the afternoon and work through until midnight when my brain literally would lose the ability to think! I would then stumble into my little room and sleep for a few hours and start the day all over again.

For 60 days I worked this schedule. I never missed a day, never attended the group meditation, and never saw Maharishi. However, I felt his attention on me every day. One day a friend said that in a meeting with Maharishi that day, he mentioned that some Purusha was working night and day to do EEG research. My friend, thinking I was in trouble, rushed to tell me that Maharishi was probably mad at me.

The next day, I was called to show Maharishi the brain mapping computer that I had been working on for the past 60 days. I demonstrated it to him and he said that tomorrow an “important official” from someplace would be here and I should come and show the program to that person.

I spent the next several hours and the following morning preparing a presentation and finally was called in to make the presentation. To my surprise, I was escorted into an almost empty room that was very dim - all the curtains were drawn. At the end of the room was Maharishi all by himself. One of his secretaries brought me in and also brought someone who had nothing to do with the brain-mapping project. Then another secretary joined us.

Maharishi had me sit across from him and asked me to show him the presentation! I began to go through the presentation and in a few minutes I was conversing with Maharishi like he was just any ordinary, but very brilliant, man. However, he kept speaking in partial sentences - I had to focus keenly and try to understand what he had in mind. He asked me several questions and his secretary came in with hot chocolate and we just talked about brain mapping for nearly two hours.

Well into the meeting, my mind began to wander as Maharishi was making some comments about EEG research, this time not speaking in such incomplete sentences, and I thought – “wow, here I am sitting with Maharishi and he is asking me questions about brain mapping!” Then I thought about the time we had spent in India together a few years back, in the garden of his house in the cool of the evening.

Suddenly he stopped speaking on EEG and said “I remember well those days in the garden in India.” This statement immediately got my attention and brought me out of my reverie! One of the secretaries looked at me as if to say “what is he talking about?” and then Maharishi looked straight at me and said, “There is a sutra to know the mind of another.” I just was not getting it.

In a few more minutes the meeting ended and one of the secretaries called me into his office. “What was all that about the sutra?” he asked. I said “I have no idea but Maharishi was reading my mind in there for a few minutes. I would think something and he would echo it back to me.”

It took me three years to figure out that Maharishi was saying I could know his mind if I wanted to. I thought that it might be possible so I tried it out.

Anytime a decision would have to be made, I would think, “what would Maharishi want me to do in this situation?” Then I would take the next thought as his answer. Pretty shaky stuff to base your life's decisions on. After about a year of this I gave up. I just could not trust my own mind and the answers seemed off at times. So I doubted my experience and forgot about it.

Meanwhile, in late 1990, I returned to the United States from Vlodrop and moved with the Purusha group back to MIU. Maharishi had given me some ideas on the brain mapping research and I had a project to create an EEG system for another purpose so every afternoon I did my EEG thing. But I quickly resumed my daily puja and worship of Lord Vishnu. I organized two seven-day readings of the entire Srimad Bhagavatam and became more and more devoted to Krishna and Lord Vishnu.

I transformed my little dormitory room at MIU into a shrine to all the Vedic gods and began to accumulate statues of the gods and worship them. Before long I was spending 16 hours a day in meditation, puja, chanting and all sorts of spiritual healing practices. My EEG research became a one or two hour a day pastime.

I began to worship Lord Krishna and chant the 1000 names of Mother Divine and the 1000 names of Shiva. By the summer of 1992 when Maharishi had Purusha come to a course in Washington DC, I was chanting and worshiping Vedic gods and Guru Dev many hours a day. I would get up at 3 am and begin my day with chanting and puja. One morning on the DC course I got up as usual and began to chant the 108 names of Krishna. I had a beautiful painting of Radha and Krishna (like the one above) that was illuminated with a lamp and as I was gazing at it in the predawn darkness I suddenly began to dance. I danced before the picture of Krishna for about an hour and felt as if Krishna was in me, and "dancing my body." This was a most striking and remarkable experience for me after years of chanting and pujas to get a response like this!

By that time, I had read the Srimad Bhagavatam several times, chanted the Vishnu Sahasranam nearly 1,000 times, and my whole attention was captivated by the magic of Krishna. My devotion was beginning to attract its object to me and my life was heading for a dramatic change, as the pace of my evolution was soon to accelerate. I was to go through the karma of lifetimes in the next few years.

The Purusha group returned to MIU after the DC course and I continued the chanting, pujas and other esoteric practices. Little did I realize all the karma that I needed to balance, but my Atman did and was guiding me to delve into all sorts of practices to communicate with subtle beings. I became very familiar with the devic realm and soon my psychic "phone" started to ring.

One afternoon a being came to me and announced that she was my spiritual guide and would help me master the TM-Sidhi flying sutra. She said her name was Rakshashi - duh - what does that mean? I was in contact with a full-blown rakshashi and the pressure of my karma was taking me down a very challenging road.

For the next year my life became more and more terrifying. I was constantly harassed by more and more astral leeches and eventually was afraid to go to sleep. The attacks were especially vehement after dark. I sought all sorts of help from psychics, tarot card readers and other esoteric practices and the situation got worse.

I continued to do the chanting to Lord Vishnu, and the puja to Guru Dev because at least during those times I felt at peace and free from the domination of the rakshasas. In the spring of 1994 one morning I was doing a puja to Guru Dev and he responded! He wanted to help me break free from the raksahasas and suggested that I immediately start to worship Sri Ram for protection, so I did. This worked and Sri Ram began to protect me. I began to study all about Sri Ram and the Ramayana.

Just before my birthday in 1994 I left the Purusha group and moved into a tiny house in Fairfield to continue my chanting and pujas at an accelerated pace, if you can imagine that. I literally did not know if it was day or night - I had to open the curtains and see if the clock time of 1:00 was am or pm. Due to the intense attacks of the rakshasas, the only time I felt any peace was during the chanting and pujas.

I set up several puja rooms in the house, one for Guru Dev, one for Lakshmi, one for Lord Vishnu, one for Sri Ganesha, and one for Lord Shiva. Every day I performed pujas to all of these Deities and chanted and meditated. I devised samkalpas to ward off the rakshasas and Sri Ram protected me. One-day Sri Ram told me that I needed more protection and we appealed to Lord Shiva for help and that bought me a few days of relief. But the attacks continued to mount.

By this time, I was in meditation or doing pujas nearly 24 hours a day, only stopping to rest when I could not stay awake. In the room I used for sidhis and flying I had a picture of the Virgin Mary on the wall. Somehow I was attracted to the picture at a local bookstore and bought it and just tacked it up on the wall without a frame. I knew nothing about her, being brought up in the southern Baptist church. That night the attacks increased in intensity and I thought I would not be able to survive the night. At one point I lay down exhausted, feeling hopeless and afraid and noticed the picture of the Virgin Mary. As I began to think about her, immediately she was there. She held my head in her lap and asked me if I needed her help.

She said she could help me and wanted to transfer a large block of accumulated Shakti that was attracting the rakshasas. I agreed to the transfer of the energy and immediately the attacks subsided and I felt peace.

Over the next few days the accumulated Shakti was transferred from my physical body to my subtle body on the vijñamaya plane and that helped considerably to frustrate the lower level astral beings. However, it opened up a whole new realm of issues as I became more awake on the astral plane and a threat to even more powerful rakshasas on the higher levels of the astral plane.

A few days later, one morning after a puja to Guru Dev, Lord Shiva appeared and said "Maharishi is your Guru, do what he says."

I soon learned that I was being tested for sincerity and that I had balanced considerable karma so I was ready to become a disciple of an enlightened Guru. Maharishi accepted me and cast his protection around me. I was instantly freed from the attacks of the rakshasas. My whole life changed on that day and I felt clean, new and like a much-loved newborn baby. My little house filled up with beautiful, benefic loving celestial beings. Guru Dev said they wanted to see the "new baby".

On that day my Atman released me into the care of Guru Dev - its job was completed. The Atman is responsible for designing lives for us, based on our accumulated "mountain ranges" of karma, to give us the best chance for finding our Guru Dev and escaping from the maze of our karma and the endless cycles of birth and death. However, the Atman can only lead us to the water, but will not make us drink! We have to make the conscious choice to abandon our lives of sensuality and physical ambitions and surrender to our higher intelligence for protection, help and guidance.

Guru Dev totally changed my life. He reminded me of the technique, based on that sutra he told me about in 1990, by which to communicate with him. It is very important to have a close relationship with Guru Dev, not only for His protection and guidance, but because this deep bond of love between Guru and disciple is the only anchor of stability in life during the years of emotional and mental purification that is necessary to reach Brahman Consciousness.

The goal of human existence is Moksha, then to live in constant communication with the Creator, Lord Brahma, and act spontaneously in accord with His intention and will. However, it is very difficult to maintain a clear consciousness channel of two-way communication with the Divine when our subtle bodies are poorly formed. Guru Dev said that this defect in the subtle bodies is present in almost everyone today.

In time, Guru Dev gave me a number of techniques, which he designed to repair the defect in the subtle bodies that makes communication with the Divine extremely difficult. Once we have restored the full functionality of our subtle bodies, we spontaneously “know” the mind of Lord Brahma, the Creator. This is Brahman Consciousness where everything we do is in accord with the will of God and our lives become a blessing to all that we come into contact.

One of the first aspects of the techniques he gave to me is to systematically become acquainted with all the important celestial beings. I met Ganesha, Indra, and all the Grahas (Budha, Kuja, Surya, Chandra, Brihaspiti, Shukra, Shani, Rahu and Ketu) and also the gatekeepers for the universe, Jaya and Vijaya. Lord Krishna became my constant companion on the vijñamaya plane as did Guru Dev. Mary continued to provide guidance and care and Jesus gave me some very important advice - he told me that I must not doubt what has happened to me because doubts will delay my progress.

One important thing I had learned is that the rakshasas and asuras dominate and control. They will come on nicely at first, but once they get in, they turn nasty and try to control you against your will. You are constantly fighting with them because they want you to do something that is against your better judgment or harmful to yourself or others. The whole relationship is based on fear. If you ask for help, there is always a price - it is a master/slave relationship. If you want out of the relationship, that is too bad. They will not let go of their "property".

On the other hand, are the suras - the side of the Divine. These beings never dominate or control. They love unconditionally and always are thinking of your best interests in everything. If you ask for help it comes freely with love and without a price. They do not interfere with your life or try to make you change. If you want to change and align with them, out of love, they will assist. The relationship is that of a parent and child - always based on love and trust. If you decide you want out of the relationship, fine - you are free to go at any time because they truly love you.

Doubts are ungrounded emotional and mental energies that can fool you into turning away from the ones who love you. Hence Jesus advised me not to doubt my experiences of love and communication with Guru Dev. If a doubt arises, I ask Guru Dev to transmute it into a cooperative and useful energy - he does it for me out of love.

For the sake of unconditional love, and not because I in the least deserved it, I had been accepted on the path of Brahman Consciousness and now my job was to simply cooperate with Guru Dev.

From that day in September of 1994 my life again changed remarkably. Guru Dev became my all and upon him I now fully depend. Guru Dev has some plans for me, but I really have nothing to do but cooperate and mature into Brahman Consciousness. I try to find out what he wants me to do and then do it to the best of my ability. There is no tomorrow and the past is gone. I live in the moment and depend on Guru Dev for my life. And, there is a constant drive to return to the place where Krishna is; to return to Goloka.

[1] Pronounced Vish-wa-mi-tra

[2] "I always bow to the Guru who is bliss incarnate, who bestows happiness, whose face is radiant with joy. His essential nature is knowledge. He is aware of his true self. He is the Lord of yogis, he is adorable, he is the physician who cures the disease of birth and death." S'rî Guru Gita—verse 93.

Guru Dev means Teacher of all that is Divine. It is a title by which an individual refers to the one in Brahman Consciousness who has accepted responsibility for his or her life. Every person who is on the path of Brahman Consciousness, and everyone who has arrived at the goal has a relationship with Guru Dev.