A student, age 43 with 3 children, has been meditating for about 7 months. Her meditation program is 60 minutes in length, twice a day. She has Atmavedi Meditation, the Ananda Technique, the first 12 Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, and the Esoteric Mahamantra. This morning we had the following exchange:
"During meditation today the whole world collapsed! My head is in chaos! I saw my physical life as an idea in deep silence. Life all of a sudden lost its meaning, and my mind experienced total collapse!"
"This is an excellent experience! You experienced your life from your subtle mind. This experience can be very confusing at first. "
"I felt sadness and anger! Now it is gone, but it came to me during meditation."
"Yes, that was caused by leaving ego behind. It is the source of sadness and anger, and you have witnessed the ego from a higher perspective. You must release control of the physical body and the physical mind . This is a very important step to achieve Moksha, where you realize that everything is in the mind of the Creator."
"I saw myself physically, but from a different perspective. I was outside the body . And then came the question"
"Yes! You have to overcome the physical body and now view your existence from the subtle mind!"
"Who is the one who thinks? Who is the thinker?"
"The Creator, Lord Brahma, is the ultimate thinker, and you are the Creator of the universe at the level of Anandamaya Kosha. The physical mind thinks that it is the ultimate thinker, and this is called Maya or illusion. This is ego, a limited version of your true self. The physical mind can think but is not the Self. It is simply an instrument of the Self. This is a beautiful experience. Soon you will view the entire universe from the perspective of the mind of the Creator!
When you have this experience, just let go and be identified with the silent core that is your true self and witness how the ego vanishes like a whiff of smoke. The ego is your small self, which is limited to the physical mind and the physical body. You are Universal Bliss Consciousness which is not limited to space and time."
"Yes, I was immersed in deep silence all around and time just passed, this experience has changed everything."
"Fear, frustration and anger arise from trying to hold on to what you are not. So, let go and settle in to what you really are: pure unconditional love and bliss."
"I have had this fear, frustration and anger my entire life."
"You're a completely different person now that you have witnessed the reality!"
"I am happy, only to realize that the process is running, still I feel unsettled, but I'm happy."
"Yes, the full realization will take some time, but you have glimpsed goal of human existence, Moksha. So return to this place always during meditation, and eventually it will be your reality 24x7."
"It is as if there was no one who needs to eat!"
"Absolutely, there is no one who needs to eat, you are not Anamaya Kosha, you are not the body of food that must eat to live. You are something much bigger than that. You are Anandamaya Kosha, the entire Universe! it is very different to know something from books and conversations and then to actually experience the reality for yourself."
Experiences come to everyone at diffferent times in the journey of discovering the Self. The significant experiences always arise spontaneously and when least expected. It is just a normal day, you sit to meditate and then the experience of a lifetime dawns! So we approach each meditation with complete innocence and not expecting anything. For sure one day the experience of a lifetime will happen.
This experience of the Self is classic and the precursor to Moksha. But Moksha is not the ultimate. Beyond Moksha is the experience of your Absolute Eternal Being that is beyond this Universe. When Moksha begins to mature, one desires to know what is beyond this universe, if anything? Certainly there is something beyond this universe that is the source and model for this universe. We call this place of Absolute Eternal Being, Goloka.